What are you going to be when you grow up.

Hello. I watched the first episode of Tina and Bobby on itv catch up last night, and was hoping for something similar to the Cilla story set in the 1960's. Sheridan Smith played a very credible Cilla Black, she seems to be able to turn her acting skills into any character she takes on.

Michelle Keegan plays Tina, wife of Bobby Moore, Lorne MacFadyen plays Bobby. I must say, I was a bit disappointed. Michelle left her role of Tina McIntyre in Coronation Street a while back to explore different roles and establish herself as a versatile actress. I didn't see the drama set in the army in which she played a squadie, 'Our Girl', I think it was called. Re inventing yourself each time you take on a different role must take quite a lot of effort, some can do it, but sometimes a little bit of the previous character is always there in the background.

I was hoping to see a brand new Michelle Keegan, giving it her all, and taking on a whole new personality. In the first episode I saw Tina Coronation Street, playing Tina the Footballers Wife. The script wasn't particularly enthralling either, the scenes were too short to encompass deep emotions, not allowing the actors to showcase their full potential. The producers/directors were in too much of a hurry to fit everything into the first episode. It didn't have me on the edge of my seat, and I am not chomping at the bit to see what comes next. I will watch, but only to see if the acting improves.

Anyway, that's bye the bye. It got me thinking about the different roles we all find ourselves in throughout our lives. When you think about it, we have to adapt to our circumstances, we have to keep up with whatever changes present themselves to us. Ok, so we don't have to switch from one character to another like actors do, there are longer periods of time in between our different roles. Quite often our roles do overlap, and for those expert multi taskers it shouldn't be too much of a problem when with practice they can jiggle two or three roles at the same time.

For years I defined myself as being a lorry driver, a woman working in a male dominated environment, I adapted to that role. Now that is in the past, I have a new role which I have created for myself. Yes, I harp back sometimes, the memories never go away, but we are all acting on a big stage or on a film set. We all have a role to play in the grand scheme of things. Finding the right pace on how fast we move on in life is all down to us as individual actors.

Michelle must have asked herself at some point if she wants a fairly secure job for life, by staying in Coronation Street, in the same way that say, a person working at the steelworks might want to work in the same place until retirement. Michelle chose to make changes and take a different direction, to explore new opportunities.

I was happy to stay in transport because of the variety, I had to adapt very quickly to driving all types of vehicles and deliver all kinds of loads, and work for lots of different companies. It gave me a buzz. Then the buzz died and I moved on.

Right some questions for you. Are you where you want to be, honestly? Can you see yourself doing something else? Will you be able to adapt? Will you be taking on new roles? Or would you like to stay where you are? There might be another role for me yet, something else might come my way. That's the exciting part of life, it evolves, new situations, never know what's around the corner.

I'll leave you with that thought. Bugsy has eaten overnight, and this morning. He seems a bit better. I have a WI frugal talk to do tonight, need to get my props ready for that.

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

My answers to the questions

Hello. I'm a bit stuck for ideas tonight, so I thought I would have a go with this questions and answers thingy nicked from the Guardian. If you want to read Suzi Quatro's answers click here. Lovely Grey did it the other day, thanks for the idea. If you want to read LG's answers click here.

When were you happiest?
 Lying in my bunk under my duvet in a truck, listening to the rain hammering down on the roof. 

What is your greatest fear?

A traumatic death. I just want to fall asleep.

What is your earliest memory?

Peeing my pants on the way home from school.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?

Susan Boyle. She knew she had a talent for singing and never gave up. She followed her dream.  

What was your most embarrassing moment?

I pulled out of a Lucas Factory in Birminghamwith a trailer full of machinery. I had only just got out of the gate when a large machine fell off and covered the road in oil. Everyone came to see what caused the loud bang. The fire brigade had to come and mop the oil up.  

Property aside, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
 A car.

What makes you unhappy?

The way the world is going. Too many power crazy people. Cruelty to animals makes me very unhappy.

Who would play you in the film of your life?

Bette Midler

What is your most unappealing habit?

Talking over people before they have finished their sentence. I want to move on quickly and they are rambling all around the houses.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

I never feel guilty. Life is a pleasure.

What is top of your bucket list?

I don’t have a bucket list. I make the best of each day as it comes.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

A bricklayer, then a fashion model.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?

My brother said, you look bloody awful, why don’t you get some contact lenses. He was right, and I did. It hurt at the time but it turned out to be the best thing anyone said.  

What do you owe your parents?

I owe my mother everything because she gave birth to me. I suppose my father had a part in that too. 

What does love feel like?

Sort of mushy.

What was the best kiss of your life?

Impossible to answer, can’t pinpoint one. There’s been some pretty hot ones over the years.

 Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?

Noel Fitzpatrick, the Supervet.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Can’t be bothered.

What has been your biggest disappointment?

 That I was never pretty. 

If you could go back in time, where would you go?

1968. I left home and got a bedsit in Blackpool.

How often do you have sex?

 I'm celibate, can't be bothered, been there, done that.

When did you last cry, and why?

A few days ago, missing Rocky.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Sticking with lorry driving for 32 years, despite all the bullying.

What song would you like played at your funeral?

Down Down  Status Quo. As loud as possible.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

Nothing stays the same. Every day is a brand new start, you can’t change what happened yesterday so move on. 

Thanks to everyone who has shared their money saving tips for Christmas. I knew you wouldn't let me down. You're chuffin brilliant. 

Thanks for popping in, we'll catch up soon.

Toodle pip

PS this is copy and pasted, I hope it works. Please excuse the higgledypiggledy margins. I ain't changing it. 

Cheer up, it might never happen

Hello. The emails are piling up, I will get round to replying sooner or later, be patient. One blog reader has put in a request so I will endeavour to answer her questions. A bit from her email.....
I wonder whether you would be good enough to do a blog post on how you stay so positive and happy? I'm nearing sixty and retired, life is getting a bit lonely. Don't get me wrong, I'm mobile, go out regularly and have lots of interests but my spirits are deteriorating. I just wondered, living alone as you do, how you keep so mentally cheerful and indeed, what cheers you in Life in general. I hope that makes sense?

It's always fascinating to learn how other people deal with living alone and I'm sure other people reading your blog would benefit from your thoughts. Unfortunately where I live there's a lot of emphasis on keeping children, young people and families entertained, but there's nothing for the older single person except Whist, Bowls etc and I'd rather die than do things like that. I think that's why so many people are old before their time - because they don't take any risks but fall into the 'old person' trap. It would be interesting to hear how you cope as I'm sure you must also get lonely sometimes?

Phew, where to begin. I think I have covered some aspects of this topic before but I can't find it anywhere. 

Living alone. I have had a lot of practice at it, if you do something long enough you get used to it. It would feel pretty strange to me if there was someone else here. Some people are family orientated and love being part of a large family, I am not one of those. I suppose that's the  independent streak in me, I think I was born with it. I always wanted to earn my own money and pay my way in life. I wanted to retain my individuality and not become half of somebody else. It's horses for courses, some people function better as a couple, I do not. 

Do I get lonely sometimes? Hardly ever is the answer. I can take myself off in my head to a different place. I don't actually need people around me to be happy, I am happy with my own company. Admitted, I do wonder sometimes if anyone cares about me, but I can't control how anyone else thinks, I can only control my own thoughts. For instance, I visit family in the Midlands, but apart from my sister, (she rings me), I rarely hear from any of them from one year to the next. I'm a bit disappointed that I make the effort and they don't, but then I remember that they are young, have busy lives, and have family of their own. I will probably end up being the aged aunt and cousin that no one can be bothered with. I am not bitter about that because that's how life is. I made my choices a long time ago, the position I find myself in is down to me, no one else. 

I have built a friendship base around me here, I know I can walk out of the door and there will always be someone to talk to. Saying that, if a person is so inclined you can be lonely in the busiest of cities. Low self esteem, shyness, lack of ideas on how to entertain yourself will lead to withdrawing indoors and not mixing with people. A suitable plan would be to work out what exactly you want to do. Really, for a single person the world is your oyster, the only hurdle you have to get over is to convince yourself to get on with it. 

You need to know why your spirits are deteriorating. Is it because you have run out of ideas? You ask how I keep so mentally cheerful, and what cheers me about life in general. I have said this before, I live with an attitude of gratitude. I am so very grateful that I have everything I need. I am so pleased that I was born in the UK, pleased that my parents were hard working and my mum taught me how to manage on not much money. So pleased that I found a job at 15 and worked for the next 45 years. I am so very happy that I have reasonably good health, and hope very much that it continues. 

I am an optimistic person, never worry about bad things that might happen because they probably never will. I take one day at a time and don't look too far ahead into the future. I wake up each morning and take a few minutes to be grateful that I am still breathing, and think about the wonderful day I might have. What have I got to worry about? Absolutely nothing. 

How do I keep so mentally cheerful? I have a filter in my brain that blocks all the crap. I can't remember when I last had a negative thought. We don't have to take any old stuff that is thrown at us. We have the ability to make our own choices, we can decide where we want to be, and my choice is to be happy. 

It goes without saying that a fit body, getting lots of exercise, is also the key to a healthy mind. It has been proven over and over again. Look at the difference between those who slump in front of the telly every night, eating takeaways and rubbish food, to someone who goes running, walking, cycling, and goes to the gym.  Look at the amount of empty cans and wine bottles in the recycling boxes. All these poor life choices will affect how the brain works. This is not me lecturing, anyone can do exactly as they like, but I personally try and look after myself. We only get one body, once it's knackered that's it. Now someone is going to point out that even slim healthy people can have heart attacks. There you go, I've said it for you so you don't have to bother putting that in a comment. 

I think I'm going to wind this up now, I've been rambling on long enough. Before I go though, I will say this. I know nothing about depression and mental health problems. If anyone thinks they are really struggling the best thing to do would be to seek help and support from a professionally qualified person. I am not that person. 

Thanks for popping in. We'll catch up soon.

Toodle pip

Owain the weather man.

Hello. It's raining at the moment, our weather man Owain, says it's going to clear away throughout the day and we are going to have a bright weekend. Owain comes on my Twitter every morning, giving me the forecast so I can plan my daily activities.

He has a lovely presenting style, with a melodic welsh accent which I love. He's so cheerful with his smiley face. His profile says he likes drumming, and cats, so I asked if I could see him play the drums. Lo and behold he sent me a link to one of his yooootoooob videos, and by jove, he is good. I am impressed, a man of many talents, he speaks in Welsh as well. So here I am sharing this bit of sunshine with you on this rainy morning.

First a short profile, some examples of his work, note the longer hairstyle.



Now watch him bash hell out of his drum kit. Looks like a good upper body workout to me.



Good isn't he.

So. What am I doing today?

Playing with fabric scraps, I am in the mood for making a bag.

How are the Walking Group members getting on with their 1000 mile challenge? I am on 575 miles, need another eight to get me to the 7 month marker of 583 miles. Need this rain to stop please Owain.

Don't forget that Shed of the Year starts tonight on Channel 4 at 8pm. My shed will not be on this programme, you will have to wait until the fourth and last programme which will be on the 19th of August. However you will catch glimpses of me in the audience as I was there throughout the filming of the finals.

Lunch time, so I'll sign off. Have a nice weekend. We'll catch up soon
Toodle pip

Addicted to the computer, ha ha.

Hello. Something e said yesterday has given me a prompt for this post. She said, 'I have a coffee out habit that I need to stop, that's the next to go'.

My first thoughts are, well no, that doesn't have to go. Something that is enjoyable and gives pleasure makes life fun, and we all need some of that. To deprive ourselves of pleasurable experiences would make life pretty miserable and would get us down over a period of time.

There are good habits and bad habits. A good habit makes us feel happy, a bad habit causes us grief and makes us unhappy. It's a sliding scale, it's about knowing when a good habit becomes a bad habit, and ultimately becomes a problem.  Drinking copious amounts of coffee every day would be a punishment to our bodies and our purses, in the long term it could make us ill and skint.

At some point a bad habit would then become an obsession, and then an addiction, something to be avoided at all costs. Addictions can cause us to lose all sense of normality, a place where we would like to get back to before the blessed addiction took over our lives.

Seems like a habit could be the start of a slippery slope to me, and I'm not just talking about drinking coffee, it could be anything you do to excess. Best nip it in the bud before it takes hold. Easier said than done because that takes will power, and there is no one size fits all. Everyone has different levels of will power.

We all know the term, 'everything in moderation', and I agree with that. No need to deprive yourself of anything. Instead of having a coffee out every time you go out, you could take a drink with you from home on alternate days, make gradual changes over a few weeks instead of making your self miserable by suddenly stopping.

Now this method of weaning yourself off something may not work for all if you are a long way down the slippery slope and your life is controlled by a destructive addiction. Some people can go cold turkey then have to endure all the withdrawal symptoms that go with it. Suddenly stopping something and hoping your life can be changed by that one decision might work for some, but not everyone. Knowing your own personality comes into it, do you have the support you need around you, and do you ultimately know the place you want to be. Of course it goes without saying, if controlling your addiction is likely to affect your health, you must seek the advice of a doctor first.

So how do I incorporate the 'everything in moderation', into my own life? I like a Magnum ice cream when I am out for the day, but it's not always on my mind to buy one. If I see a fridge with a selection of different flavours they beckon me to lift the lid and choose one. I may walk away and resist the temptation because I don't fancy one, or I had one not so long ago. The longer the time scale between treats the more of a treat it is. A Magnum every day would be boring, make me sick, and at £1.80 each they would cost me a whopping £657 a year, madness.

Same with a bottle of wine. I only buy a bottle when I actually fancy it, to drink that day or the day after. I will pay £5 for it because I like the taste, and I don't know what expensive wine tastes like so I can't compare. My wine purchases are about two bottles a month now, and I see these as a treat. To drink it every day would ruin my liver, my heart, and I would put weight on. There's no danger of me becoming addicted to booze.

So, moving on. I am not trying to dictate here what anyone should or shouldn't be doing. The old sayings that have been around for centuries, like, 'Everything in moderation', and 'Variety is the spice of life', are actually true. We can have our treats, and we can try new ways of doing things. The world out there is for exploring our beliefs, our bodies, our relationships, and our minds. You decide whether you are doing something to excess, you decide when you want or need to make changes, and you decide whether you are in control or something is controlling you.

Slowly but surely, bit by bit, you can make the changes you want. It doesn't need to happen overnight, but the determination to succeed must be there in the first place. Good luck, and I hope you get the life you strive for. Best wishes,
Ilona

PS, and now I have broken my rule to write short posts in the summer because I want to do other things. Trouble is, that if something is on my mind, and an idea is triggered by something I have seen or read about, I have to go with it. So now I'm going to get of this chuffin computer and go outside. Toodle pip

Ten good reasons why ..............

Hello. There are a lot of things going on around us which might cause us a lot of worry and upset, whether it  be inside our friends and family circle, or outside in the big wide world. It is very easy to be affected by what we see, what we read about and what others tell us face to face, because we all have feelings. Quite often it is difficult to control what we feel because our emotions are personal to us and part of our genetic make up. We can appear to be in control but we can also be caught off guard and become angry or sad pretty quickly when something negative happens. We don't always have a choice about how we feel.

But..... I also believe that in some circumstances our emotions can be controlled and we can learn how to deal with situations which may have a less than desirable outcome.  There are times when I feel that whatever I say or do will not make any difference to how a situation pans out, so it's best to take a back seat and do nothing. This is not to say I am not a caring person because I am. I do feel hurt and sadness, I do have empathy for someone who is in a bad place, but I am not going to beat myself up about something I have no control over whatsoever.

If something has affected me I will try and identify the solution. If I can't do anything to change things, to turn  a negative into a positive, I have to put my own feelings first. My coping strategy is to switch off.

So here are my ten good reasons why I might bury my head in the sand.

1. I can't do anything about it.
2. It's got nothing to do with me.
3. I don't want to know what happened.
4. I don't need to know what happened.
5. I need to protect my sanity.
6. It's not my fault.
7. I can ignore it.
8. It doesn't affect me.
9. I am not responsible for the outcome.
10. I don't need the stress.

You may have your own coping strategies. In these modern times in a fast moving world it would be very easy to absorb all the turmoil and upset we see around us. There has to be a cut off point, a time when we think of ourselves. It's not being selfish, it's a matter of self preservation, putting our own health and well being first.

Thanks for popping in. we'll catch up soon.
Toodle pip

A question and an answer (Topic closed)

Comments are still coming in for this topic. Thank you for reading, but I am not publishing any more comments.

Hello. Someone asked a question, I will answer.

Lovely scenery. I wish we had that here where I live. I have a question. Are you at all affected by the refugee/muslim situation or are you too far out in the country to be impacted? I would love to hear the opinion from someone living in England instead of reading about it in the mistrustful media.

Long time readers may remember I wrote a post about the UK being full up and having no room to take more. It is almost three years ago I, aka Nellie, wrote that. It attracted 76 comments, many from people who have looked into the more complex issues of mass migration. I see Britain as a pot flowing over with people it cannot sustain because of weak infrastructures and insufficient resources. I haven't changed my view on this, but I am more mindful of what I say now, as it seems that anyone with this view is labelled as right wing and racist. I am choosing my words carefully. 

The movement of whole populations from one country to another is what I would class as an invasion, Europe is being invaded. The cause of this is the clash between different cultures, war in other places, and economic migrants who want a better life elsewhere. Who do I blame for all this unrest? The internet. People have always moved around the world for one reason or another, but not in such great numbers. Sorry I have not studied history in great depth, so you might know different. Now, everyone with a hand held device and an internet connection can see that life would be somewhat better than the place they were born in, so they want to make the journey. 

We (the UK) need more houses, jobs, hospitals, and schools to accommodate newcomers, the Government tells us the country is bust, no money. We already have a lot of homeless people living on the streets, people waiting for medical care and operations, and classrooms of unacceptably high numbers of children. I can't see how we can take in more without improvements to all these services. 

People will keep on coming, whole armies of them, it's like a great tidal wave that can't be stopped. It's all well and good saying they won't get any benefits for four years if they come here, so what is the Government going to do? Let them starve so they end up stealing to survive, or frog march them forcibly back to where they came from? Questions I don't know the answers to. 

In my crystal ball I see vast culture changes where east and west meet in the middle, neither sides wanting to give up their heritage. Those that come here will want to copy their previous life, on new soil, those that were born here will want to hang on to their British values and principles. It's going to be difficult. It's going to mean change for everyone and people are going to struggle with that. 

In my opinion, if you go and live in another country you abide by their laws, their rules, learn their language and integrate. I choose to stay here because I don't want to do that. If I say any more about that I will be called racist. 

I had better answer the question and stop waffling on. Am I affected by the refugee/muslim situation, or am I too far out into the country to be impacted? At the moment I am not directly affected. I can get to see a doctor if I need to. I expect that to become more difficult as numbers of immigrants swell, so I'd better try and keep healthy. I have a house so I don't have to look for one. 

I can find places of solitude in the country to continue my walking. I have noticed my town becoming more multicultural, and I have to say, this makes me feel uneasy. I am more aware of my surroundings when shopping, looking around me, steering clear of anyone who behaves in an unusual manner. Crime can be committed by any nationality of course, but if someone is desperate there's no telling what they will do. 

In the last few days it has been reported in the press of car jackings, an elderly lady was dragged out of her car and run over as the car was driven away. Not saying that the crook was an migrant, but it makes you think about what could happen. Best to lock yourself in your car as you are driving through built up areas, and not get out if you are approached. 

The sight of so many dark skinned men and youths roaming around the towns in groups makes me feel very uneasy. Am I allowed to say that? It is reported that trafficers are looking for new routes into Britain because of the security at the southern ports is tightening. Only last week a lorry load of human cargo came into Hull docks, it won't stop, there will be more. 

My prediction. In years to come Europe will change beyond all recognition. People have a chance to vote in or out in June, and no one knows exactly what will happen if it goes one way or the other. Discussions welcome, no fighting  :o)

Thank you for the question, I have answered it to the best of my ability.

Thank you for popping in. We'll catch up soon. 
Toodle pip

A delicate subject

Hello. Have you been listening to The Archers? I have to say I gave up with it a long time ago, the story lines were not holding my attention, so I drifted away from it. However, it has been in the news a lot lately, all down to the domestic abuse saga of Helen and Rob which has been rumbling on for around 18 months. I read that they were covering this topic but I didn't feel inclined to jump back in again, it would have brought back unpleasant memories of the past when I found myself in a similar situation. I only know too well what it's like to be the victim of  a bullying control freak, it's a horrible place to be.

A week or so ago I caught the scene where it all came to a head, through not turning the radio off quick enough. Helen took a knife and stabbed Rob, lot's of screaming and shouting. Thank goodness my situation did not escalate to that level, but never the less, my relationship brought a lot of mental stress, which is just as destructive as physical violence. Never under estimate the power of a manipulative mind taking control of another persons personality.

I've found an article in The Guardian in which the writer Michele Hanson says the harrowing domestic story line has her hooked. It is planned to trundle on for another year, as Rob is not dead. I for one will not be listening, I have first hand knowledge to know what it is like to be worn down, to become a shadow of your former self.

I sometimes mention my diaries, picking out little stories to post here, and in order to keep this a happy blog I have skipped over the not so happy times. But hey, life is not all roses, shit happens and you have to find a way to deal with it. I think it's a good idea to include topical subjects, as well as the 'ups', it's also the 'downs', which make me the person I am, and it's my blog so I can say what I like. I'm going to make an exception now of picking out a few entries of the three years or so when I was victim of bullying. You may or may not want to read it, but if it helps someone take stock of their own lives, puts their situation in perspective, and gives food for thought, then it's worthwhile me sitting here and bashing the keyboard.

I got through it in a relatively short space time, but I did think I was trapped forever and I would be stuck in that situation indefinitely. I went round in circles in my head, knowing what I needed to do, but I wasn't quite strong enough to change things, until I saw sense. I have mentioned that I can say what I like now, but it wasn't always like that during the three years of this relationship. I had to be mindful of everything that came out of my mouth, because every word was picked over, dissected, and questioned. My every move was monitored by this person who wanted full control over me. I was interrogated, accused, spied on, manipulated, and all I ever wanted to do was to make it work between us.

I went along with it because saying he loved me was easy words to roll off his tongue. If he got what he wanted he only had to say those words, and I put any doubts to the back of my mind. And it went on, a vicious circle. Eventually those doubts grew from a few seeds, to fully grown stinging nettles. Slowly I began to realize that the relationship was not normal. People, my friends and work colleagues, noticed that I had changed, and I had, to be the person he wanted me to be. I voluntarily made the changes in the beginning, because my single days were over and I was now part of a couple. But after a while I didn't like the new me, I wanted the old one back. There is only so long that you can act in character, it's important to remember the real you inside. I was always a friendly happy person, but I changed that for him. I became introvert, and scared to open my mouth, not like me at all.

Actual words from my diaries. We weren't living together.
T (made up initial), was mad with me because I was talking to M yesterday. He accused me of fancying him. What a horrible mess, we are not getting anywhere. He was annoyed, he finished with me because M was talking to me. I am fed up with the whole situation. T gets mad when he can't see me.

It all went wrong and T was mad with me, he came to the house and was shouting at me. I was ready to finish with him, I put his clothes in a bag, then took them back.

T rang this morning, said I hadn't answered the question he asked yesterday, which was why do I look at all the other men, when I was with him. We then had a stupid conversation which didn't gain anything. I gave him my answer, he said he didn't believe me.

I didn't do much this afternoon, didn't feel like it. Felt sad that I am on my own. T said he might come round, but of course he didn't. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know how he can treat me like he does. I'm just convenient for him to call on whenever he feels like it. I must be stupid to put up with it.

I rang T on the mobile, I have been getting fed up with the situation. I said we are miles apart with differences. He was mad with me. I just want an end to it now. I said this has got to stop, this is the end of the line for me. T is not what I want from a partner, he doesn't know how to love, how to care properly. He is always nasty, moody, snappy, in a bad mood, and miserable. I can't cope with all this gloom and doom.

Fed up with everything, I want to get my life sorted. Can't concentrate while everything is messy. T rang and asked me to pick him up. I said I was upset yesterday about coming back to an empty house after he promised to be there. He asked if I had any feelings for anyone else. The man is screwed up I am sure.

I could go on, but I'll stop there. You get the picture, I was at his beck and call. So how did I get out of it? The discontent on my part had built up over a period of time. I had put so much into the relationship, he was going to be my partner for life, but I wasn't getting anything back from it. He would have gone on for longer, bullying me into getting what he wanted, but I knew I had to get out. I felt a complete failure, he had eroded my personality that much I was a different person. I had to change back to how I was.

It took a while, because he carried on pestering me. He kept ringing for a long time afterwards, eventually the calls got less and less. I did not ask for any help in dealing with it, I wanted to sort it myself, and I did. I got busy, made myself do things, changed things around in my house, started to go out more, and find some new friends. I put the whole sorry situation in a dark hole where it belonged.

I wish it had never started, but it did, and you can't change the past. I have learnt from it, and I will never be in that situation again. I am happy now. I'll put the diaries away now, I won't destroy them because you can never completely erase the past. The Archers abuse story happens every day all over the world. I feel for the women, and men, experiencing it now. The programme is covering a very sensitive subject and needs to be talked about, I won't be listening though.

It's a lovely day, I'm going to open up the summer house and have a potter in the garden.

Thank you for popping in. We'll catch up tomorrow.
Toodle pip

1966 Another good year

Hiya. Val says. lets have some more from the diaries, so here goes. I'll skip a year and go to 1966. I went to work on January 1st, we didn't have a bank holiday then. I had moved on from Woolys and was working in a small grocery store. I remember that a lot of the stock was delivered in bulk and we had to weigh it out and wrap it. Big boxes of cheese, butter, and lard. Bags of dried fruit, flour, sugar, and rice. I did all the jobs in the shop except the book keeping, I liked to move about. I was on the Deli counter quite a lot, slicing bacon and cooked meats.

I see I was a saver in 1966, I put £1 in the bank and I had 8d interest, wow, ha ha. That was a lot of money then out of my wages.

Disaster on Thursday the 6th. I wrote, 'A lot happened today, First I've got a horrid cold. I broke a large bottle of coffee in an order, (we delivered boxes of groceries to customers), such a mess. Then I burst a 28lb bag of sugar on the floor. Then crushed a box of tissues. Then a fabulous lad met me out of work in his car, it was Howard. He drove me home, I wish he'd made a date but he said, see you sometimes.'  I was mad about Howard, flirted with him like mad, but got nowhere. Very sad.

I liked filling up the shelves and displaying the goods. I was often called on to dress the window, which I enjoyed doing. I used to volunteer for more hours, and I see that I got paid 9/- (9 shillings) extra for half a day. We used to get sales reps calling in, and sometimes we got a freebie. On the 15th of January, I got a tube of toothpaste. You can see where my love of free stuff comes from, ha ha. My best friend Sheila often gave me clothes that she no longer wanted. I got a cardigan, a red polo neck sweater, and a pair of gloves.

In March I was looking for another job, I was bored. I wanted a bit more excitement and a bit more money, and found a job advertised  for a nanny in London. Mum was very upset, she was crying. I went to an interview locally and was told I had to provide a reference. In the meantime, mum tried to talk me out of it. I ended up writing to the lady and said I couldn't go, but I really did want to go. Mum didn't have much money and was glad of the bit I gave her. I got 10/- extra for working a Sunday and bought mum some daffodils.

I did like my bike and used to ride for miles. On May 4th I went a bike ride to Tamworth, it was 34 miles and my arms got sun burnt. Sometimes I went with my brother Stephen, but mostly I went on my own.

The entry for Monday May 9th reads, 'Start work at Robirch. Smashing job the girls are nice. I was wrapping 1lb packs of sausages on bonus. Then packed 48 sausages in a white cardboard box. I've got to wear a white nylon hat, white overalls, white wellington boots, and a dark blue apron. I started at 8am till 5.30pm, and went home for dinner.'  The best thing about that job is that it was close to home so I could go home every dinner time. And it was piece work so I could earn bonus. My overalls and apron were too long so I took them home and took up the hems. I didn't want to look like a middle aged frump with my clothes hanging down below my knees, ha ha. I remember we used to go to work with our rollers in covered by the hairnet, if we were going out that night. Imagine that, like Hilda Ogden, ha ha.

Factory wages were better than shop work. I see that I got £6-0-1d and a 4/6 bonus on the 27th May. I had a little money for my birthday (17th) from family and put 15 shillings in the bank. Every pay day I recorded my wages and bonus in my diary. I was a bit competitive about earning bonus, so worked faster to get more. I see my wages at that time was always around the £5 - £6 mark.

My best mate had moved to Blackpool with her family and I went for a holiday. I had a great time, met a lad, and that was it, I wanted to go and live there. I had several more visits before I was able to leave home and go and live there. I had to wait until I was 18.

My employment with Robirch ended with me getting the sack, I left on the 28th of October. I couldn't settle on any job, I get bored with routine. The final straw was that they sent me into the cookhouse to make faggots, (savoury ducks) which involved a lot of pigs innards which smelled foul. I couldn't cope with that. Not to worry, another job came along a week later, and I started at Wesleys, a factory that made toilet rolls, flat pack toilet tissue, (remember that Izal stuff), and Christmas garlands. My friend Jean who also got the sack, came with me to Wesleys. It was piece work again, and I got around £6 a week. It was a good laugh there, I had a group of friends that I went out with, down the town, hanging around the market place where the hot dog van stood. we were a happy band of factory girls.

I also got myself a boyfriend, went out with him for a few weeks. I was invited to tea at his house, it was a bit posh, a detached house in a village. I got the feeling his parents thought I wasn't good enough for their son. The romance was very intense for a while, we both declared our deep love for each other. The entry on the 27th of November says, I went to the flicks with him in the afternoon, and chucked him that night. Not sure why, me being fickle I think. Then we made it up, it lasted another week and we agreed to finish. I already had my eye on someone else by that time, ooooh, I was a little flirt  :o)

And that was 1966.

I have finished the hanging basket of flowers, but there wasn't enough light to photograph it well. I'll do that tomorrow. I'm pleased with the result.

I did 3 miles this morning, and was only stopped twice for a natter, ha ha.

Thanks for popping in. Catch up soon. Toodle pip.    

I was in love with Paul

Hello. I'm amusing myself tonight, reading old diaries. Can you remember what you were doing in 1964? I can't but it is all here written down. I was a skinny bean pole of a teenager with goofy teeth, specs, and a flat chest. I was in my last year of school and left in the July of that year, age 15. 

It's a small diary and in the back cover is a pocket for a photograph. Paul was my idol, I dreamt I was in love with him every night. I screamed and nearly fainted when the Beatles came on the tele, and collected hundreds of pictures of them which were stuck all over my bedroom wall. 

I have to laugh at what I wrote. I hadn't yet had a proper boyfriend, but had many crushes on all kinds of men, mostly those I saw on the tele. The notes page is at the front of the diary. Full of useful useless information, ha ha. 1964 was a leap year. The Olympics were held in Tokyo. Bamber Gascoigne is fab. Clay beat Liston. The Queen had a baby, so did Alex. I wrote to Bamber Gascoigne. Cambridge won the boat race. I got John Phillips autograph. He was an older boy who I fancied at school, and Bamber did reply to my letter, I was mad about him.  

Here are some of my entries, an insight into what a 15 year old teenager got up to 51 years ago.

I made jelly and cakes at school. This was in cookery lesson. Another entry says I took the washing to school. They also taught us how to do household chores. Imagine if they did that now, ha ha.

I went ice skating at Nottingham with the youth club. I can skate, I fell over seven times. A few years later when I lived in Blackpool I went to the Ice Drome every week to skate. I got a job in the cafeteria so I went on the ice at every opportunity.

I cleaned my bike and mended a puncture. Then I painted the bike, and painted the handlebars silver. I had toothache. Next day I had two teeth out at Thompsons dentist. I remember that dentist, he had his surgery in the front room of his big house. He was horrible. I stopped going there.

Went to Derby with the girls. These were friends Rosy and carol, we went on the bus, I remember. I bought make up. Carol picked up a lad, and Rosy didn't like hers. Carol was snogging . I was not lucky with the lads.

What did I get up to while I was still at school? I went to trampoline club. Dancing classes after school. I went to Youth Club, usually wearing mums's calf length leather boots. I played snooker. I bought 'Jackie' magazine. I watched all the pop shows on the tele. Went to the bowling alley and was in the junior league. Went bike rides. Made my own clothes. Cut and coloured my own hair. Visited Grandma a lot, usually on my bike. Went to the pictures.

Friday the 17th of July was my last day at school. I remember running out of the school gates with a smile on my face. All the other girls were crying because they didn't know when they would see their friends again, except me and Celia. We couldn't get out quick enough. I got John's autograph, I had a big crush on him.

I had the summer holidays off before I needed to find work. We were all over the place, making the best of our freedom. Shopping, pictures, bowling, hanging around the town. On Monday 14th of September I started work at the Leather Shop. On Friday the 18th, I got the sack, ha ha. Didn't last long. I remember it was a pokey hole, a small shop with four floors and a narrow steep staircase. It was floor to ceiling with suitcases and bags of every size and colour. My job was to dust all the stock, over and over again. The manager and his assistant kept disappearing upstairs and leaving me. I had a good idea what they were up to. I was glad to leave, it was an awful job.

On Saturday the 19th I got a job at Woolys, and on the Monday I started on the sweet counter. The entry says, 'Woolys is fab, served all the time, it's great.' I got paid on the Friday and bought a pair of mod shoes, and some long white socks.

On Monday the 28th I went to the Jubilee Hall and saw the Kinks, with Carol. They were fab, got home at 11.20pm was great, really fab. Ha ha, everything was fab then. Hey look at this, I cut my hair short on the 1st of October. I'm still doing that now, amazing.

Oh look, they put me in charge of loose sweets. I went in the stockroom. I remember we had to stock check once a month, it was called 'doing the binders'. Everything was listed, I had to count it, and re order new stock.

On Sunday 20th of December I had my first real date. This lad came into the shop and asked me out. I said yes because he looked alright. He was very polite I remember. He was called Brian and we went to the pictures. We met at the bus station having both got a different bus from our villages. We walked from the bus station to the cinema. I had decided I wasn't too keen and when he put his arm around me I pulled it off. We walked back to the bus station and I was 50 yards in front of him, I wouldn't let him hold my hand. My bus came in first and I quickly hopped on leaving him standing there. When I got back home everyone was keen to know how I had got on. I said if that was dating I wouldn't be doing that again.

Aaah, those were the days. Such innocence. I was happy with my pop songs, watching the tele, fashions, makeup, friends, going out. Little bits of what I did then, I still do now. I even kept track of my money, being careful about what I spent it on. The boyfriends came later, I didn't get really interested until I left home at 18. Then it was all a whirlwind of fun and broken hearts, mine and theirs, ha ha. That's all in the later diaries, which I couldn't possibly talk about here. Oh alright then, I might pick bits out later on, a much edited version.

Thanks for popping in. Catch up soon. Toodle pip  

Go go go you old rocker

Hiya. The cavalry has arrived across the road, looks like it's all hands on deck. DynoRod has just pulled up to sort out a problem with the drains, so I expect I will have to wait for the bricks to appear at the front. My view is blocked by vans however, so I will have to keep popping upstairs to look out of the bedroom window for any movement involving men carrying bricks.

In the meantime let's have a Friday Frippery, meaning odds and sods. I have chosen this yoootooob clip as an introduction, You are on my mind, by Crispian St Peters. Love it, foot tapping sixties music to sing along with.



So, what's on my mind? All sorts. I watched a Panorama programme on BBC iplayer yesterday, How Hackers steal your ID. With cyber crime increasing all the time we all need to be aware of it. We should be very careful about the information we put out on the internet. No one is 100% safe from being ripped off, scammed, robbed, trolled, and bullied. People have lost their life savings through crooks spinning a yarn, lying and cheating their way into victims bank and credit card accounts. I try and do everything I can to limit my vulnerability to scams. Banking details are not safe anywhere, even banks get hacked. I will not bank online. I do not shop on the internet, no Ebay, no Paypal, no Amazon. I limit my direct debits and prefer to pay my bills with a cheque into the bank, or over the counter with cash at a Post office. Have a look at the programme, now on yoootooob, and see if it doesn't scare you, because it sure as hell scares me.



That Katie Hopkins is now a permanent fixture over on The Mail, she has built up a following since her appearance on The Apprentice and is now well known for her acid tongue. I'm not sure I would want to put myself in the firing line like she has, I can only assume that money is her motivation. When the press started reporting on her nasty comments she was vilified, but now the tables seemed to have turned, a lot of people are backing her and agreeing with every word she says. Very weird. Shame that those who are most opinionated and gobby are rewarded by big wages, and those who quietly get on with their meaningful and fulfilling lives as a valued member of society, get very little payment. I am reminded of the saying, what goes round comes round. I believe that having a clear conscience and being at peace with yourself is much more preferable to always having to look over your shoulder.

I don't watch cookery programmes, not interested at all, so I know hardly anything about Nigel Slater, but the Mail calls him a no nonsense chef so I was prompted to read on. Seems he is a straight talking guy without the need to be offensive. He is calling for people to return to the basics of cooking after an obsession with complicated recipes.He goes on to say food is now worshiped and fetishised, and some foods have been victimised and banned from plates. I will go along with that. He has written ten cookbooks so I suppose he knows what he is talking about. There is too much fannying around with food, it doesn't need dressing up, tarting up, it is not there to look at, it's there to eat. I don't know about you, but I eat with my mouth, not my eyes.

Notice the difference? One of my many favourite songs of the sixties.





Still performing, still enjoying himself at the age of 75. You've got to hand it to these old rockers, they can still get your feet tapping.

Going to check on the bricks, DynoRod has gone and the sun is out. The weekend is almost upon us again, enjoy. Catch you soon. Toodle pip

De cluttering, sharks, cake recipe, blogging, and Scottish mountains

Hello and Good Morning.
I have been meaning to write this post for the last week, now I am ready. Last Saturday I did something a bit silly, I spent wasted some money on two Saturday newspapers. It was a spur of the moment thing, I thought it might be quite exciting to re visit the past when I used to buy a mega size newspaper every weekend which would then last the whole week. I religiously read it from cover to cover to get my moneys worth. Now, of course I don't buy newspapers at all, and it saves me a fortune in time and money.

Anyway, I thought I would share my review of last Saturdays Guardian, cost £2.70, and a cheapie version of the Independent called 1 on Saturday,  cost 50p, apparently it's the essential weekend briefing, in their words. When I first opened these papers my initial thought was crikey, it's all a bit above my intelligence level, but I stuck with it and found to my surprise that there was a lot of interesting stuff to devour and hopefully store in my little brain.

I'm not one to stick with a lot of long drawn out waffling, my interest quickly subsides and I move on to the next thing. You might be like me and give up on this waffly post, I wouldn't blame you. However if you wish to stick with it I will tell you what caught my eye in these papers, and if you read this you won't have to go out and buy a paper, thus saving you money.

Starting with the Guardian, I have included links to the articles by the way. Tim Lott writes about chucking out the lovingly crafted detritus created by his children, from lolly sticks, papier-mache  and suchlike. He laments the fact that adults no longer make home made gifts for their friends and family but would rather go to a gift shop and spend on tat. Yes, sad indeed. The article is an interesting take on the topic of de cluttering, and gives food for thought on what you actually need to keep or what you should throw away. The article is here.

Another Guardian article, this time from the Travel Supplement. There is a new North Coast 500 mile drive around Scotland, in answer to America's Route 66. Kapla Kassabova checks this out over a four day drive in an old Landrover with partner and dog, starting at Inverness. It highlights lots of stopping places, interesting sights to see, places to eat and sleep. I almost wish I was there, but I would be walking of course, such a shame to whizz past that wonderful scenery in a set of motorized wheels. For more details on the route here is the full article.  For even more details go to the North Coast 500 web site. Some great pictures on there. 

Are you still with me or have you buggered off somewhere else, ha ha.

What's next? Let's move over to The Independent. This next article makes me quite angry, me being an animal lover and all that. Kathy Marks writes a piece about the shark attacks in New South Wales which have killed quite a few surfers in recent months. Whenever this happens a public meeting is called and last week 200 surfers and business people have voted for a cull of Great Whites. They say the uncertainty of surfer safety is deterring people from going into the water, which is affecting local business because people are cancelling their holidays. Well chuffin bad luck is all I say. One simple solution, keep out of the water. Ok I have never been there so I don't know how important surfing is to the residents and holiday makers, but bloodshed is not the answer. Kill a few and there will be more to take their place. My view is that the oceans belong to the marine life that live in their waters, it is their territory, and we encroach on that at our peril. Find another activity for people to do, on land. Read the article here.

Another one from the Independent, this made me laugh. Emma Lunn writes, Can bloggers be legitimate critics if they are taking money or getting free produce? Apparently there was a spat between a blogger and a cake shop owner, which went viral after the cake shop owner felt they had been bullied by a blogger, or blagger as she liked to put it. They both put their side of the story on their own blogs, the cake shop also has a blog. The social media spat opened up a whole can of worms, with the biggest question being, can you trust a food review when the writer got the grub for nothing? My own personal view is no you can't. Read the story here.  And through the power of the internet, here is the story on the cake shop blog. Remember this is a business. And to balance it out, the story from the blogger, also a business. You can form your own opinion.

If you fancy a bit more cake, this caught my eye in the Food section of the Guardian. I don't use my oven because it costs so much in gas, and cooking for one is much simpler on the hob or in the microwave, with the occasional grill being brought into use, so a cake which doesn't need baking seems appealing. Ruby Tandoh presents this recipe which I won't go into here, but burnt honey and vanilla cake looks lipsmacking gorjuss. I doubt very much that I will be trying it though, I don't have any vanilla bean paste, raspberries, or home made caramelized biscuits, and I try and steer clear of double cream and runny honey. But if you fancy giving it a go the recipe is here. It serves 4 - 6, another reason why I would not make it, I would pig out on the whole lot in one go. I can't be trusted.

Well I think that's a mixed bag of stuff in today's post. I won't be buying another newspaper, if I want to read a real one I can go to the library and it will cost me nowt.

Thanks a lot for popping in. It's Saturday, Heidi is looking quite good, she is a lot brighter, has a healthy appetite, and is very playful in the mornings. She still sleeps a lot, right next to me, in her bed on the table, so things are looking good. Rocky is waiting for a walk, and I want to go to town, so I'll sign off. Enjoy your weekend.
Toodle pip

PS. Disclaimer. I wasn't given these papers, I bought them  ;o))

Something on my mind

Good morning. In all the papers this morning is a very sad story of  a wonderful old lady of 92 who was found dead last week at the bottom of the Avon Gorge at Bristol. It is believed that she threw herself off because she was overwhelmed by the demands for money from charities, and recently a large sum of money had gone missing in the post which she had sent to her son. She was very upset by this and lost faith in people.

You can read the story here.

Olive Cooke was Britain's oldest poppy seller, she had given 72 years of service to The British Legion, she was a grandmother and great grandmother. She gave away much of her pension to charities who pestered her relentlessly. It was all getting too much for her. How very sad, that this vulnerable old lady was driven to suicide. Sad, but also very shocking.

I get letters in the post asking for money, usually from charities that I have donated to before. Once they get hold of your details they cling like limpets. Lists of names are sold on and before you know it more demands arrive. I say demands rather than requests, because of the aggressive nature of their literature. Images of animal cruelty and sick children are used to make the reader feel obliged to respond and donate. I'm sorry to say, but all mine go in the bin.

Do not feel guilty about ignoring demands like this. Do not feel guilty about walking away from charity chuggers in the street. Do not feel guilty about not answering the door to charity collectors, or saying no on the phone if you get a call from a charity. This might seem an uncaring and hard nosed way to behave, but I know how much I can afford and who I want to give it to. I have charities named in my will, a large chunk of my estate will go to them eventually.

I do donate to charity, but I give willingly to the charities of my choice, as and when I can afford a few quid. I will not sign up to any direct debits.  I'm sorry but I don't do the In Need, the Red Nose, or the Relief thing on the tele either.

Please keep a check on elderly relatives, make sure they are not being harassed. Keep an eye open for any mail that may arrive from a charity, be nosy, ask if they are donating. Olive Cooke was getting piles of the stuff almost daily, she was seen as a soft touch because she found it hard to say no.

Give to charity by all means, but make donations only if you can afford it. Money is tight, I don't have a great deal, but I save up and when I have a donation I send a cheque. Last week I delivered my cheque to Bransby Horses. When I do send a cheque in the post I put a note in for them not to contact me, not to send any begging letters, because I will ignore them if they do.

Above all, don't feel guilty if you can't afford to give on a regular basis, a £1 coin in a box is a lovely gesture.

Glad to get that off my chest. Toodle pip.

Which team do you support?

Hello, Hows your Sunday been, I seem to have a long list of things that need to be done, and things that I want to do, putting them in some sort of order is my difficulty. Not enough hours in the day. Yesterday I chose to ignore what needs doing and took time out to go to a football match. This is not something I would normally do, standing, or sitting in our case, with five and a half thousand mainly blokes yelling their heads off and singing. But, I'm game to give it a go. My friend Janet had a spare ticket for the Scunthorpe - Sheffield match and asked me if I would like to go. She is footie crazy bye the way, has been a supporter for many years, they go to all the home games and some of the away matches as well.

I didn't know that it is ever so noisy before the game starts, loud music blasting out, the singing, cheer leaders, the club mascot dancing around, it was a real party atmosphere. The tension building up in anticipation of a win. I made this little video just before the game started. I tried to do a short commentary but you can hardly hear my voice. You may need to turn the volume down or put some ear plugs in, ha ha.



How much does it costs to go to a football match? Janet says a senior season ticket costs £230 for 23 games, so £10 per game. Looking at the web site the price of just one game varies between £13 and £23. I think that the bigger more popular clubs would be charging quite a bit more for their tickets.

When the game started we were in the shade as the sun was overhead, but as time went on and it came down it was blinding and everyone was having to shield their eyes with their hand. I was ok because I had my union jack sun visor on.

The club mascot, Scunny Bunny, was dancing around the pitch before the game started. 

I felt sorry for the young cheerleaders, just as they were strutting their stuff the sprinklers were turned on and they got soaked. 

This man with the yellow flag was skipping up and down the side line the whole time. I missed the first goal because I was too busy eyeing him up. His sideways skipping amused me greatly, ha ha. 

Oh dear, someone has fallen over.

Scunthorpe scored the first goal, then Sheffield the second. Our goalie looked like he hadn't noticed the ball passing by him on it's way into the back of the net. Wakey wakey, goalie.  It finished a draw. A little bit of bother in the Sheffield stand, there was quite a lot of police in attendance. Someone had the bright idea of lighting a red flare. It sent plumes of red smoke into the air which wafted across the pitch.

Everybody seemed to leave the stadium in an orderly manor, it didn't take long to get out. The four legged members of the constabulary were there to oversee things.

Would I go again? Probably not. It was interesting to see what it's all about, but the game is too boring for me. All the stopping and starting, waiting for someone to kick the ball back onto the pitch when it goes astray, it even got kicked right over the top of the stadium and disappeared into the car park. The players getting their legs tangled up and falling over, stop while they pick themselves up, the whistle blowing and flag waving, oh, just get on with it. I don't mind watching a bit of footie on the tele, because they can cut out the boring long winded stuff and only show the goals. I like to see the skill in the few seconds leading up to shooting a ball into the net. A nifty bit of footwork can be quite artistic, almost like a ballet dancer, and the beaming smile on the scorers face is quite uplifting.

It's a bit too late for me to start following a football team now. I wouldn't mind going to see a rugby match though, all those beefy hunks charging round battering the hell out of each other. Yeah, that could be quite good.
Toodle pip.

The way of the future

I often wish I could look into the future, 200, 300, even 500 years time, I wonder what the world will be like then. Probably completely different to what it is now. I would love to be around and see it all. I watched a fascinating programme last week on the BBC iplayer, Gaming: The Rise of the Cyber Athletes. I only came across it by chance because it's in the sports section, a place I rarely venture into, I don't have much interest in sport. My curiosity led me to click the play button.

OJ Borg explores the growth of electronic sports, the professional players who take part, and the debate on whether gaming could be considered as a true sport. The question was asked, are cyber athletes real sportsmen? How does the culture around watching gaming compare to real sport? 

I must say, the programme was a real eye opener, I never knew such events existed. Streaming sites such as Twitch bring millions of viewers to watch online, and tens of thousands to venues around the world. The cyber athlete is no longer a couch potato, and can expect to earn £200,000 a year. They look after their health and fitness, go to the gym and eat a healthy diet, to keep their brains sharp and their fingers moving at breakneck speed. 

This new sport is opening up endless possibilities for sponsorship and advertising, thousands of jobs will be created on the back of it, mind boggling really. Is this the future? They are talking about it becoming an Olympic sport. 

If you want to see the programme it's on the iplayer for a few more days.  

It's also on Yoootooob.

If you want to read a bit about cyber gaming, this is a good site. It seems the internet is buzzing with this programme.

We discussed this topic around the dinner table on Sunday when I was visiting family. My cousins son is a keen gamer and spends many hours in his bedroom, much to the consternation of his mother. After the meal was finished everyone seemed to disappear. I found them in son's bedroom, he was explaining the nuts and bolts of how he designs games and uploads them to yoootooob. He completely lost me as I watched and listened to him. I was dumbstruck. How can a twelve year old lad have taught himself so much.? He was talking ten to the dozen, obviously passionate about his skills, and they are skills, not just wasting time until he leaves school. This lad is on the way to a career already. There is no doubt that he is a sharp as a razor, and I hope that he will, one day, be at the top of his game. I shall watch his progress with interest. 

Computer gaming is not my thing at all, I wouldn't know where to start, but it's the way of the future, and it can't be stopped. 

Toodle pip. 

L O L :o)

Hello again. I was thinking about the laughs we had yesterday, we were all in a jovial mood and we bounced jokes off one another. Whatever topics we chatted about one of us always twisted it around to create another chuckle, or in some cases a real humdinger of a belly laugh. I like people like that, those you feel comfortable with, those who you can be yourself with and not have to put on a show. It makes life a lot more relaxed and easy going if you can say, here is me, take me or leave me, it's up to you. 

Today I am showing you this awful picture of myself. Years ago when I was a teenager, I would not have dreamt of letting anyone see me in this state. Before I stepped out of the door I had to put on a show for the world, where I looked presentable, fashionable, and as attractive as I could make myself with a bottle of  foundation cream and a paint box. 

Look at me now, the older I get the braver I get.  

I am now able to show the real me to the world, someone who is able to laugh at myself, and not take life too seriously. I don't worry about what other people think of me, because I like me as I am, and before you like anyone else, you have to like yourself first. Yes that might seem self centred and smug, but I would rather be happy, than be a miserable old grouch.

My message is simple, look for the fun in your life, laugh at your mistakes, laugh when you make an almighty cock up, and don't be afraid of making yourself look silly. Now go and look in the mirror, and bluddy well laugh.

Have a fun day. Toodle pip.

Colour my world

Hello and welcome to the first day of a brand spanking new year. Nice of you to call in. I'll try again with an answer to this question. 

Terra28 December 2014 at 03:55

Some years I choose a word for the year, do you ever do that?

Thanks Terra. I haven't thought about doing this, but now you come to mention it, yes, I will. The first word that came to mind as I was out for a morning walk was COLOUR, so that is my chosen word. I will open my eyes and look for colour every day. Even if the world looks grey and gloomy I will search for colour where I least expect it. I will try and find colour where there is none. It isn't hard when you walk around a pretty village, there are little pockets of colour everywhere. 

I pass these beautiful purple berries on my way to the church. They seem to last ages, but look closely, some of them are beginning to shrivel a bit and lose their colour. 

 A few red berries left for the birds, against a background of yellow and green variegated leaves.

I wonder what has caused the green mould to form such a perfect pattern on the wooden fence?

As I enter the churchyard I see colour. Trevor is trimming the branches from the trees. His red overall stands out against the dark trunk.

It's a hard job he has, there are three avenue's of trees to cut back, it will take him a while. If he does one a day it will probably take him to the end of the month. 

They look pretty ugly when they have been butchered, but they will come back.

Oh look, red has been joined by yellow. Graham, the previous church gardener, is out for a morning walk with Lady dog.

Oh my, more colour has arrived, people pass through here on the way to the shop. Now we have orange and purple. Little girl is eating my favourite ice cream, she has a Magnum.

So what colour is your world? Do you see things in fifty shades of grey, are you locked in your own little world and don't see the colour beyond it? It's there, you just have to find it. I am going to look for colour every day because it makes me cheerful, and it lifts my spirits.

Colour blindness must be quite difficult to cope with, I'm sorry if you have this problem. I have worked as a fundraiser for the RNIB so have a little understanding of visual impairment. If you are in this category, and you can't see very well, please join in and let us know what other senses you use to bring a little colour into your life. I would be very interested to know.

Have you chosen a word for the year, share it with us, please.

Thank you for all your comments and emails over the last few days. Enjoy the rest of today.
Toodle pip.