Nothing to tempt me

Oh gawd, here we go, more bumph landing on the doormat. Not general junk addressed to no one in particular, but personalised junk addressed to me. The first thing I do is to take a pair of scissors and cut off my name and address from the top of the letter. Then scour the whole thing for anything else which might identify me, before I bin it. If there is an application form it is usually pre printed and all you have to do is tick a few boxes. So more snipping to remove name and address from there. I suppose I could shred the whole thing and put it on the compost heap, but I like to put all unwanted paper into the blue box to be collected for recycling

So what's left, what are they trying to sell me. This made me laugh, it's from a Specsavers leaflet. I want to shout at them, I DON'T HAVE A CHUFFIN TV.
 

And on the next page, I DON'T HAVE A CHUFFIN FAVOURITE RESTAURANT, I CAN'T AFFORD TO EAT OUT, AND I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY A CHUFFIN HEARING AID FROM YOU AT £495. For gawds sake, I got a free one from the National Health, and they give me free batteries.

Here we go, another card from the Vauxhall garage, another big event. WHAT AGAIN! This is an exclusive invitation to attend. If it was just down the road and they are serving free drinks and nibbles, I might go. But it's 30 miles away and no mention of food. The offers are all on new cars, 0% finance for five years. ME BUY A NEW CAR, ARE YOU SERIOUS! The chuffin thing would drop a couple of grand in value the minute I drive it off the forecourt, let some other silly begger chuck their money away. No ta, a decent second hand one will do for me, and I'm not ready for one yet.

What's this 'ere then, the RAC getting into selling boiler insurance. They're all at it now, insure this insure that, gawd! My boiler is two maybe three years old, it's in pretty good nick. It should last a long time, BECAUSE I HARDLY CHUFFIN USE IT. 26 baths a year, and only put the heating on when my nose is dripping and my fingers have gone numb. So, I'll take my chances and self insure. I will put a bit of dosh away in a safe place to build up a little stash, and if the boiler blows up I will call in my local friendly plumber who I know will do a good job.

More insurance bumph, this time for plumbing and drains. It says it's a small price to pay for peace of mind. Ha ha, I've just read the small print. The offer is for £12 for the first years cover, quite good, and then, hey listen to this. THE NEXT YEAR IT WILL COST EIGHTYFOUR CHUFFIN QUID. Gawd, talk about dangling a carrot to get you hooked in. Well sunshine my peace of mind comes with not having my bank balance wiped out by endless direct debits for this and that. My peace of mind comes with buying just what I need when I want it. I don't lose any sleep if something breaks, that's life. I keep a few bob put aside for such emergencies if and when they arise. For all I know I may never have an emergency, then it would be loads of money wasted. I've got the house insured, that's enough for me.

Four letters for the recycling bin. Aint life exciting.....Toodle pip.