Getting rid of the kink

I had an idea for a post but thought some people might find it a tad distasteful, so it got put on the back burner. Today I had a bowel cancer screening kit arrive in the post, and my idea sort of ties in with this. I have to say at this point that if you find talking about normal bodily functions a bit yucky you might want to move on to the next blog and come back tomorrow.

It's two years since I last did this test, it involves taking samples from your own poo, and posting it off to a laboratory for analysis. Simple and easy to do. I urge anyone who is offered this not to throw it in the bin, but to follow the instructions and send in your samples. The test is offered free of charge, and it could save your life. I shall be sending mine sometime this week. 

Now for the next bit. You know my mantra about toilet paper usage, oh no not that again I hear you say. Well I want you to say it all together now, 2 for a pee, 3 for a poo. Yes it is possible. If you have a messy bum and you need to use more paper, your diet is wrong. But there is something else which you can do to make your evacuation quick and clean, and that is to alter your position on the toilet.

Did you know that we should all be in a squatting position while we perform this function, and not actually sitting on the lavvy. It's all to do with the angle of the colon. Sitting obstructs the passage of waste through it, squatting makes elimination faster, easier, and complete. There are many health benefits to squatting. Have a read of this web site, Toilet Related Ailments, it explains everything.

It would be impractical for everyone to go out and buy a new squatting type toilet, and there is no need to. There are ways that you can alter your own position in your own bathroom for very little cost. If you wanted to you could buy a contraption, like this one from Lillipad  They also have a plan to build your own if you are reasonable at woodwork. I could probably make one out of pallets by just looking at the picture, it wouldn't be that difficult.

If you didn't fancy doing the full squat, you could do as I do, have a stool in your bathroom, pull it close to you when it's time to do the biz, and put your feet up on the step. Bring your knees up to your chin, that way it will take the kink out of your colon, for a quick exit.   

Sitting on the lavvy reading the paper is not the right way to go about things. In the past people have joked about how long it has taken them, when other people are waiting to use the loo. It's not funny. It's far more healthy to be quick in and quick out. Why not give this method a go. Try it for yourself. Bye the way, this is not a sponsored post.